Saturday, December 13, 2014

Here's Why I Hate You.

I hate you, Facebook.

A recent post in my Instagram feed, that I completely disagreed with, prompted this post. So let's get to it.

Let's take a look at my Facebook page shall we?

There's me. This is what you see. I have 469 friends. I have pictures of my husband, my pets, and me. I'm married. I live in Boise. Cool.

Here's some more.

These are pretty much the only things I post about. My family & pets, my Etsy shop, and the occasional luxurious experience like going on vacation or buying a new eyeshadow palette.

Looking at these regular posts, let's gather some descriptions about me. What would you use to describe me? Vain because I've posted pictures of myself? Attention seeking because I'd like business for my shop? Spoiled? Selfish?

Or maybe you're nice and you think, "She looks nice today," or "I'm glad she had fun on vacation."

Here's the problem with Facebook. You don't know anything about me. Unless you've spent a great deal of time with me, you just don't know. So let me introduce myself.

Let's skip over everything you see on Facebook, because I'm going to assume you already know.

So here's some facts about me. Who I am as a person.

  1.  I cry about EVERYTHING. I'm not exaggerating. To give you an idea, here's some for-real stories about times I've cried:
    • I cried the first time I went to church after we moved. Not because I was touched by the messages, but because I went home feeling like no one liked me. No one introduced themselves, no one said hi. I made a comment in class that got a "hm." in response. I cried. I cried a lot and vowed to never return. (I was being a bit dramatic at that point. I've gone back to church. No worries.)
    • I cried at the pet store when we were about to leave without buying Brutus, my guinea pig. We bought him, and then, of course, I cried because he needed a brother, so we bought Phil too.
    • I cry when I don't get enough sleep. 
    • I cry when I don't eat.
    • I cried again about church because one sweet lady came up to me and talked to me, and remembered from my talk in sacrament several weeks prior that I had two guinea pigs. She asked how they were doing. 
    • I'm crying now. 
    • I cried about this video, when a bunch of Canadians started singing our national anthem when the microphone went out.
    • I cry at every Disney movie. Every single one. Except Frozen, which I hated. 
    • I cry about anything military related: sweet stories of soldiers surprising their families, soldiers dying, soldiers losing limbs. Those are all very emotional for me. I can't watch Wounded Warrior Project commercials. They put me in a funk for a few hours.
    • I cry every time I call my dad. Most of the time I can get it together enough to actually make the call. I just love my dad a lot. I love my mom too, but we talk way more often so it's a little easier to pull myself together. :)
    • I cried inconsolably for 2 days straight after my guinea pig Rocko died.  
    • You get the point. I cry about everything.
  2. I spend a lot of money. But what you don't see on my Facebook is the money I spend on others. Simply because I'm trying to do what Jesus has asked and be humble. You don't need to know what acts of service I have performed. Just know that I make a conscious effort to spend MORE time and MORE money on others than on myself. "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." (Phil. 2:3)
  3. My life isn't perfect. Neither is yours, I will assume. I've suffered with my fair share of sicknesses, afflictions, trials, and downright crap. Did you know I have PMDD? It's a hormonal disorder. I've had it since my freshman year of high school. It accounts for many of the other problems I've had. I won't get into it now, but it makes a HUGE impact on my life. 
  4. I'm naturally pretty shy. It takes a lot of internal effort for me to say hello to someone. I'm very much an introvert. I get overwhelmed in large groups of people for long periods of time. Sometimes the shyness does come off as stuck up or rude. I swear I'm trying. 
  5. I spend a majority of my time trying to make others happy. I'm a natural people pleaser. I love sending flowers and gifts and cards and whatever else I think might be a good idea. I'm always on the lookout for another person I can cheer up.
So, let's not miss the point. This isn't about me, and how I feel that everyone needs to get to know me better. 

My point is, I hate social media for the fact that I can't see these things about YOU. Many of you don't post about your struggles or trials. You don't want to be that person. I want you to tell me your struggles. I want you to be REAL. 

I hate social media for stirring up my feelings of anger or jealousy. Like, what the heck is that? Why in the world is my computer screen making me feel so negative?  

I hate social media for the way it can tear up families, relationships, and friendship.

I hate social media for the way I feel judged anytime I post anything. 

I hate social media for the way that I feel like I can't have an honest interaction. Everything I do is laced with "underlying meanings". "She liked this so it must mean that she supports the Affordable Health Care Act." "She commented 'You look beautiful,' but in high school I swear she started that rumor about me." "He didn't like my status, but I thought we were friends." "This picture only got 5 likes. Is there something on my face that I missed?"

Get real! I know I'm not the only one thinking these things, even subconsciously. My goal is to make my Instagram, & Pinterest about ME. It's FOR me. It's not for you. Sure, have fun following me. But these social media devices are for me to document MY life. I pin things on Pinterest I like. I post photos on Instagram that I like. And I am so grateful that I have a place where all of these little parts of my life are safe in one place. 

Facebook on the other hand, that's partially for you. The things that are for you are the things I've posted to uplift, inspire, motivate, whatever. You never know when your post can make a difference in someone else's life. I'm friends with this incredible fitness guru, who has inspired me to start working out again. The other day she said, "It's funny how our minds constantly make up excuses on why we CAN'T do something." You know what that post made me do? That post made me run two more miles than I wanted to. TWO MILES. That's an incredible feat for me. So the things I post, I'm hoping make a difference in one of your lives.

Stop deleting your selfies and post 'em! I love selfies!! I think people are so brave when they can say, "I look so good today that I'm going to post a picture for the world to see." Because you DO look that good. And let's be honest, I even post the ugly ones. 

My whole point is, LET'S BE REAL! If you like to work out, tell us about it. If you have a passion for singing, please, post a video of you singing your lungs out. If you like taking pictures, I don't care if you're not a photographer, post those pictures. Your social media accounts are YOURS.

I want to see more real people. That's my point. Social media degrades us into words and pictures, while we are so much more. We are incredible beings with incredible potential. Don't judge me by my Pinterest, Instagram, & Facebook, and you can bet I will return the favor. 

I love social media for the power it has to make a positive impact on the lives of others. 


  1. I love this so much! I've been having a hard time with this lately. It's so hard to not compare your life to others when it looks so perfect from pictures when you really don't know half of it! Thanks for writing this! It helps to know I'm not the only one!:)

  2. Thanks for writing that Haley. It was just plain good! :)

  3. Haley!! I don't think you understand how much I look up to you! I love your honesty and saying it like it is. Thank you for saying something about how horrible some people are on Facebook. I love you!